I once went through Hinge with an intern at my work and we set her range to 50 and over. The amount of thumbheads sitting on DFS sofas was unreal. Mind you, the 25 year olds were also terrible and weirdly obsessed with Sunday roasts, too. One profile pic was a mirror selfie in a urinal - taps aff. Maybe it's just an awful app??
My neck hurts from nodding. You also missed that men almost always limit their search category by age and rarely include women over 50, regardless of their own age! I reckon the apps only really work if you’re either young or living in a very big city.
The age thing is so bonkers. I will be addressing that in part two, which I will write when I have the emotional strength to think about all this shit again.
Well, as you know my dating site data set is a couple of years out of date, but the boys are possibly just playing the numbers. Something like 65% of men say they are insecure because of the paucity of communication on dating sites, ( I believe its something like 5% of the men get 95% of the messages ) where 54% of women say they are overwhelmed by the volume of messages they receive. ( maybe the men are just less choosy ) ..... and as the whole paradigm is defined by snap decisions based on image based shorthand used to demonstrate mating credentials, maybe the "message magnet" is a Maserati. The whole "666" model shows that sometimes the best way to get those elusive first clicks is to hit one of the sixes within six seconds, six pack and six figure salary can be signposted by 'Taps Aff 'pictures or sports cars and expensive watches. Can any of you women out there say you haven't been beguiled by the BVLGARI or BUGATTI ( a lesser man might use an emoji with a raised eyebrow at this point )
though this is a self perpetuating problem, if a high percentage of women are overwhelmed, then the only way they can deal with it is to exclude a high percentage of potential suitors, ( or give up work in order to undertake an extensive triage of all the contact ).... its the only way to navigate the waters, this accentiates the problems for the men who get no replies, who end up desperate and going down rabbit holes of incel tropes. which tell them. ( put a fast car / watch / six pack on your profile. ) we need to find a better way to meet.
Told from the bitter perspective of someone who gave up the dating game a long time ago. a man who is down a different rabbit hole which tells him that "avoidant Attachment" is a disorder, the fault of childhood, not just a big fearto, scared to fall in love again,
I once went through Hinge with an intern at my work and we set her range to 50 and over. The amount of thumbheads sitting on DFS sofas was unreal. Mind you, the 25 year olds were also terrible and weirdly obsessed with Sunday roasts, too. One profile pic was a mirror selfie in a urinal - taps aff. Maybe it's just an awful app??
well can a single man say about that, hilarious if depressing, men eh !!!!
Feel free to prove me wrong
My neck hurts from nodding. You also missed that men almost always limit their search category by age and rarely include women over 50, regardless of their own age! I reckon the apps only really work if you’re either young or living in a very big city.
The age thing is so bonkers. I will be addressing that in part two, which I will write when I have the emotional strength to think about all this shit again.
Very funny piece, Anna, and good luck to you. I’m thinking you might enjoy @Rosana S’s recent 3-parter (also v witty) about dating in her 30s.
Thanks for the top tip. I also feel I have more to say - and so many screen shots - so there may be part two at some point.
Oh do, Anna, though I’m sure there’s plenty else to write about in the meantime!
I described my own lonely hearts foray in the 1980s here, if you fancy reading.
https://open.substack.com/pub/wendyvarley/p/how-i-met-my-match?r=cmaaf&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
Very amusing. All the best
Sadly, it is reckoned to be the best app. FML
Well, as you know my dating site data set is a couple of years out of date, but the boys are possibly just playing the numbers. Something like 65% of men say they are insecure because of the paucity of communication on dating sites, ( I believe its something like 5% of the men get 95% of the messages ) where 54% of women say they are overwhelmed by the volume of messages they receive. ( maybe the men are just less choosy ) ..... and as the whole paradigm is defined by snap decisions based on image based shorthand used to demonstrate mating credentials, maybe the "message magnet" is a Maserati. The whole "666" model shows that sometimes the best way to get those elusive first clicks is to hit one of the sixes within six seconds, six pack and six figure salary can be signposted by 'Taps Aff 'pictures or sports cars and expensive watches. Can any of you women out there say you haven't been beguiled by the BVLGARI or BUGATTI ( a lesser man might use an emoji with a raised eyebrow at this point )
though this is a self perpetuating problem, if a high percentage of women are overwhelmed, then the only way they can deal with it is to exclude a high percentage of potential suitors, ( or give up work in order to undertake an extensive triage of all the contact ).... its the only way to navigate the waters, this accentiates the problems for the men who get no replies, who end up desperate and going down rabbit holes of incel tropes. which tell them. ( put a fast car / watch / six pack on your profile. ) we need to find a better way to meet.
Told from the bitter perspective of someone who gave up the dating game a long time ago. a man who is down a different rabbit hole which tells him that "avoidant Attachment" is a disorder, the fault of childhood, not just a big fearto, scared to fall in love again,